Shakey, Shakey

When I was pregnant, people would always tell me how wonderful it is and talk about all the good stuff along with giving birth.  I never really heard anything bad.  I wish someone would have prepared me.

Anyway, the day came for me to give birth to Caleb.  There was a lot I was not prepared for that day.  I wasn't prepared for him to come out bluish grey, apgar a 1, not breathing, umbilical cord wrapped around his neck tightly, and hearing a nurse yell they needed the respiratory cart in my room stat.  Prior to that, I was not prepared for me to crash after they gave me my epidural.  I was not prepared to be losing consciousness because of an epidural.  Apparently, I had an allergic reaction to my epidural.  Who knew?  So they had to keep giving me this medicine, that they use to try to revive heart attack patients (I can never remember the name of it), to try to keep me going.  After that fun adventure was over and I lost count of how many holes were in one ceiling tile, I was stable again as long as I stayed on oxygen.  The thing with the ceiling tiles...I focused on them so I wouldn't slip under.  I didn't want to blink or pay attention to what they were doing because I was afraid I would pass out and not wake back up.

Once Caleb started crying and breathing again, I relaxed and was finally ready to meet my baby boy.  But I didn't till a hour and a half after he was born.

Here's the thing.  Some women get this thing called labor shakes after giving birth.  No one never mentioned this to me.  I was shaking so bad that when I got a chance to hold my baby boy, I couldn't.  There is a picture of me holding him for the first time and you see a nurse's hand and arm in the picture because she is supporting Caleb so I can see him and touch him.  That part sucked that I couldn't hold him on my own.  The  shakes were uncontrollable.  It didn't last long.  My Mom was trying to put more blankets on me because she thought I was cold.  I wasn't cold, I just couldn't stop shaking.  When they mentioned it to the nurse, she just responded it's ok.  Well, I would have love to have known what was wrong with me.

My opinion, a dreamy birthing experience may or may not happen.  That is when you just suck it up and think what is more important, getting that dream birth experience or having a healthy and perfect baby?  My goal was to bring my son into this world safe and sound and healthy and that is what I got.